With over 3,000 visitors since Canada Day, The Most Mediocre Canadian has become more popular than a hat store on free hat day during a semi-annual hat festival.
To celebrate this momentous occasion, Lies With Occasional Truth presents to you Canada's prime ministers* in order of votes received.
Steve Harper
Joe Clark
Jean "The Shawinigan Handshake" Chretien
Pierre Trudeau
Paul Martin Jr.
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Lester Bowles Pearson
What makes these men so mediocre? As some of our voters put it:
Stephen Harper - "He's managed to quash any and all progressive legislation to the insure the status quo stays intact. Safe injection sites only protect junkies. Let's get rid of those."
Joe Clark - "The most undistinguished, squishy and unconservative imaginable leader of a 'right wing' political party. His picture is prominently displayed under the word 'milquetoast' in the Canadian dictionary."
Jean Chretien - "Three majority governments whose biggest accomplishment was its majority governments."
Pierre Trudeau - "Permanently screwed up the country by turning it into an entitlement-minded socialist nanny-state run by unaccountable bureaucrats, and because he brought us the despicable HRCs (human rights commission)."
Paul Martin - "Canada's most perfect example of the Peter Principle in action, Paul Martin was such a mediocre leader that even his fall from the top was unexceptional."
William Lyon Mackenzie King - "Truly he will be remembered wherever men honour ingenuity, ambiguity, inactivity, and political longevity. Let us raise up a temple to the cult of mediocrity. Do nothing by halves which can be done by quarters."
Lester B. Pearson - "Played by all the rules, always tried to not rock the boat, defanged the Canadian military, invented peacekeeping (the lamest foreign policy and contribution to national pride ever)."
But do those things really put them above the Rene Simard's of our country? You decide.
*Leading in votes as the most mediocre, not in an actual election, federal or otherwise.
To celebrate this momentous occasion, Lies With Occasional Truth presents to you Canada's prime ministers* in order of votes received.
Steve Harper
Joe Clark
Jean "The Shawinigan Handshake" Chretien
Pierre Trudeau
Paul Martin Jr.
William Lyon Mackenzie King
Lester Bowles Pearson
What makes these men so mediocre? As some of our voters put it:
Stephen Harper - "He's managed to quash any and all progressive legislation to the insure the status quo stays intact. Safe injection sites only protect junkies. Let's get rid of those."
Joe Clark - "The most undistinguished, squishy and unconservative imaginable leader of a 'right wing' political party. His picture is prominently displayed under the word 'milquetoast' in the Canadian dictionary."
Jean Chretien - "Three majority governments whose biggest accomplishment was its majority governments."
Pierre Trudeau - "Permanently screwed up the country by turning it into an entitlement-minded socialist nanny-state run by unaccountable bureaucrats, and because he brought us the despicable HRCs (human rights commission)."
Paul Martin - "Canada's most perfect example of the Peter Principle in action, Paul Martin was such a mediocre leader that even his fall from the top was unexceptional."
William Lyon Mackenzie King - "Truly he will be remembered wherever men honour ingenuity, ambiguity, inactivity, and political longevity. Let us raise up a temple to the cult of mediocrity. Do nothing by halves which can be done by quarters."
Lester B. Pearson - "Played by all the rules, always tried to not rock the boat, defanged the Canadian military, invented peacekeeping (the lamest foreign policy and contribution to national pride ever)."
But do those things really put them above the Rene Simard's of our country? You decide.
*Leading in votes as the most mediocre, not in an actual election, federal or otherwise.
3 comments:
I get Chretien, Clark, and Martin, but don't understand the rationale for Trudeau's inclusion. The reasons given might make him the worst PM or the best PM, but I don't see how it makes him the most mediocre PM.
Re Mr Harper:
"He's managed to quash any and all progressive legislation ..."
That would make him a superlative PM.
Cheers
JMH
C'mon, if you're going to pick a mediocre Prime Minister, it HAS to be Joe Clark. Martin, maybe, but is really in a mediocrity league by himself.
People voting for Chretien, Harper, or Trudeau because they don't like them don't get the definition of mediocrity.
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